What makes a great parent?
A good parent is a person who strives to make decisions in the most effective interest of the child.
What can make a great parent is not only identified by the parent 's actions, but also the intention of theirs.
A good parent does not have to be ideal. Nobody is perfect. No child is ideal either … keeping this in mind is essential when we set our expectations.
Profitable parenting is not about achieving perfection. But it does not mean that we should not work to that goal. Set high standards for ourselves then and first our children second. We function as important role models for them.
Top 10 Parenting Tips
Here are ten suggestions for a terrific parenting experience, including how to stay away from bad parenting, and be an even better parent.
They aren't all that easy or quick.
And most likely nobody is capable of doing them constantly.
Although some of these may not be 100 % successful, you will be ready to move forward using the tips in this parenting guide.
#1 BE An excellent Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Do not simply tell the child of yours everything you wish them to do.
The most effective way to teach is showing them.
Human is an unique species in part since we can learn by imitation. We are programmed to copy others' actions, understand them, and incorporate them into our personal. Children, particularly, watch everything the parents of theirs do very thoroughly.
Thus, be the person you want your child to be - respect your kid, demonstrate to them good attitude and behavior, have empathy towards your kid's emotion - and your child will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show them Through ACTION
Demonstrate the love of yours.
There's no such thing as loving your child a lot of. To love them can't spoil them.
Only what you choose to do (or give) in the title of love may - things like material indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over-protection. When these items are provided in place of real love, that's when you will have a spoiled kid.
Loving your child may be as simple as giving them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and also hearing your child's problems seriously.
Showing these acts of love is able to trigger the release of feel-good hormones like oxytocin. These neurochemicals can provide us a full feeling of calm, emotional warmth, and contentment; from these, the child, will acquire resilience and never to point out a closer relationship with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Infants are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with comparatively few connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive the actions of ours, shape the personalities of ours, and basically determine who we're. They're created, strengthened, and "sculpted" through life experiences.
Give the child of yours positive family interaction, particularly in the early years. They'll then be able to see positive experiences themselves and provide them to others.
But if you give your child bad experiences, they won't have the kind of development needed for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go to the park. Laugh with your child. Allow them to have positive attention. Drive through an emotional tantrum with them. Solve an issue together with a positive mind-set.
These positive experiences create excellent neural connections in your child's brain and create the memories of you your kid carries for life.
When it comes to discipline, it seems difficult to remain positive, especially when dealing with behavior issues. But it is possible by using positive discipline and avoiding strong discipline.
Being a good parent means you have to teach the child of yours the morals of what is right and what's wrong.
Setting limits and being consistent is the golden rule to discipline that is good. Be kind and firm when you establish rules and enforce them. Focus on the reason for the child's misbehavior. And make it an opportunity for them to find out for the future in a good way, rather than to get penalized for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR YOUR CHILD
Let the child of yours realize that you'll always be there for them if it is responsive to your child's signals and vulnerable to their needs. Support and accept your child as an individual. Be a safe and warm place for the child of yours to explore from and return to.
Children raised by parents who are constantly responsive have better emotional regulation development, social skills development, and emotional health outcomes.
#5: Talk with The CHILD of yours And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Many of us already know the importance of communication. Talk to your child and also listen to them thoroughly. By maintaining an open line of communication, you will have a much better connection with the child of yours and your child will come to you when there's a problem.
But there's an additional reason behind communication. You help your kid integrate various parts of the brain of theirs, a critical process in a child's development.
Integration is similar to our body, in which different organs must coordinate and work in concert to have a trully healthy body. When different parts of the brain are integrated, they can function harmoniously as a whole, which means less tantrums, much more good behavior, much more empathy, and much better mental well-being.
To do that, talk through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and how they felt developing attuned communication.
You don't need to offer solutions. You do not have to have all of the answers to be a good parent. Just listening to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using simple words are going to help them make sense of the experiences of theirs and integrate the memories of theirs.
#6: Reflect on Your own personal CHILDHOOD
A lot of us want to parent differently from our parents. Even those who had an excellent upbringing and a thankful childhood might want to change several elements of how they were brought up.
But really frequently, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak just like our own parents did.
Reflecting on the own childhood of ours is an action towards understanding why we parent the way we do. Make note of things you would like changing and think of how you'd get it done differently in a real scenario. Try to be aware and change the behavior of yours the next time those issues come up.
Do not quit if you do not succeed in the beginning. It takes practice, a lot of practice to consciously alter one 's child-rearing methods.
#7: Focus on Your personal WELL-BEING
Parents need relief also.
Pay attention to your own well-being to avoid parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things such as the own needs of yours or maybe the health of the marriage of yours are kept on the back burner when a kid is born. When you don't take note of them, they will become bigger issues down the road. Take time to enhance the relationship of yours with your spouse.
Stressed-out parents tend to be more prone to fighting. Do not be afraid to request parenting help. To have some "me time" for self-care and stress management is crucial to rejuvenate the brain.
How parents take care of the child of theirs physically and mentally can make a big difference https://parentinghowto.com/ in the parenting of theirs and family life. If these two areas fail, the child of yours will suffer, also.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
Undoubtedly, to some parents, spanking is able to bring about short term compliance which occasionally is a much-needed help for the parents.
However, this method doesn't teach the kid right from wrong. It only teaches the kid to fear outside consequences. The child will be motivated to stay away from getting caught with behavior that is inappropriate.
Spanking the child of yours is modeling to your kid that he/she is able to resolve issues by violence. A child who is spanked, smacked, or maybe hit is much more prone to fighting with other children. They're more likely in order to become bullies and also to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes.
Later in daily life, they're also more apt to result in oppositional behavior and delinquency, even worse parent-child relationships, mental health problems, along with domestic violence victims or abusers.
There are a variety of more effective options to discipline that have been proven to be more effective, like good discipline (Tip #3 above ) and positive reinforcement.
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What is your goal in increasing a kid?
When you are like most parents, you want your child to do well in school, be prosperous, be independent and responsible, be respectful, enjoy good associations with you and others, be caring and compassionate, and have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
But how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
If you're like most parents, you probably spend the majority of the time simply attempting getting through the day. As authors, Bryson and Siegel, point out in the book of theirs, The Whole Brain kid, rather than helping your kid thrive, spent most of time just trying to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate your life, next time you feel angry or frustrated, step back. Think about what anger and frustration will do for you or the child of yours.
Rather, look for ways to switch each negative experience into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums can be turned into priceless brain sculpting moments in case you concentrate on teaching your child, not trying to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT By utilizing Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I don't mean shortchanging the child of yours with tricks. What I mean is taking advantage of what's already known by scientists.
Parenting is among the most researched fields in psychology. Lots of parenting strategies, practices, or traditions have been scientifically researched, verified, refined, or refuted.
For optimum parenting advice for increasing a child and information which are supported by science, here is one of my personal favorite science based parenting books, The Science of Parenting.
Using medical knowledge is of course not really a one-size-fits-all strategy. Every kid differs. Even within the best parenting style, there are able to be many different effective parenting methods you can choose according to your child's temperament.
A very good example is using spanking to discipline. There are numerous better alternatives, time-in, reasoning, e.g. redirection, etc. You can choose a non punitive discipline method that actually works best for the child of yours.
Of course, you can additionally choose to utilize "traditional" or "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or maybe spanking) and also may nonetheless get a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has found us that children with various temperaments react to the quality of parenting differently.
Those who are more vulnerable to parenting quality will have much better outcomes under good parenting but even worse outcomes under bad parenting.
Those people who are less prone may "turn out fine" no matter how strong their parents treat them. But it does not mean those practices are great. These children are simply fortunate. They can thrive despite poor parenting, not because of it.
Why take a chance with sub par parenting practices when you can use well-researched, better ones?
The importance of parenting can't be underestimated. Taking science-based parental advice might not be the easiest way to parent. It may require much more work on your part in the temporary but can save you lots of time and agony in the long term.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The good point is, that although parenting is difficult, it is additionally really rewarding. The bad part is the rewards typically come much later than the hard work. But in case we try our best now, we will ultimately reap the rewards and have nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!